Le Fin

I guess a final, final update…

I’m sitting on the plane right now waiting to land in Boston. The flight is so far so good, minus the plethora of crying babies behind me. Seriously, I don’t care who you are and where you come from, but crying babies suck. They are not cute. They do not giggle. They look ridiculous. I was one of them and I would have beat me senseless. Regardless, I’m coming home and I’m happy, so I won’t fret.

I know I’m truly back to the US when all of the Spanish Iberian flight attendants address me first in English, then in Spanish. I made it abundantly clear I wanted to speak in Spanish when I did not answer her for “coffee” but rather “café”. Obviously, I’m milking my time abroad. When the plane landed, the seatbelt sign turned off and did the “bing bing” to which I responded like the Madrid Metro with “Proxima estacion, Callao….correspondencia con linea dos”.

Getting back was well…so American. After picking up my broken luggage (2nd time for Iberia), I went through customs and got a “Welcome to America, Mr. Rosen”. Oh happy days. Then came the true American experience. Crappy buses, overpacked terminals, a TSA taking away my duty free Sangria because apparently even though customs said it was okay, TSA said no. I will say with experience and research of my own and my work that the ‘no liquids’ rule is preposterous and also I’ll add that Deana Figlioni of the Transportation Security Administration is a massive bitch and I will her ill. By the way, American airlines is delayed again. I’m 28/28 in delays. Why can’t these people run a business? The beautiful thing about American capitalism is that they’ll be bankrupt soon either from oil prices or lack of customer services. AA can go fornicate itself. There, I said it and I’m relieved.

I’ll see most of you all soon. For those who were abroad with me, g-d bless and continue being preposterous!