Monday, July 21, 2008
Yeehaw
Visited UNC-Chapel Hill to see my friends Salem and Whit from Spain and was by no means surprised. Beautiful campus, beautiful weather, and of course, the women made GW girls look like mongooses with palsy. I enjoyed their company.
They took me to "Mama Dips", a southern home-style cooking restaurant and once again I walked away thoroughly impressed. They were a lil shocked that I had no idea what hushpuppies were, but c'mon, I'm a white Jew from New York. Give me a break.
They were, might I say, incredible. Apparently their name is derived from a similar food given to dogs to keep them quiet at night. Why do people give me food for animals? Why do I voluntarily eat dog food? No, I meant Taco Bell.
At night we went over to NC State to see Whit's friends. Now, ya know how everybody always says state schools always have the hot girls. This is entirely true. It was certainly an entertaining night. Got back the next morning after a quick pit stop at McDonalds, even though I fought for the Waffle House. I mean, who doesn't want to see a grizzly looking redneck with no teeth munching on poorly made waffles?
Actually, here in NC, i was pleased by the courtesies of most Southerners. "Hello", "Good Morning", "How ya'll doing" go a long way toward establishing a good rep with others. On the other side of the spectrum, there are the walking stereotypes, always a mixture of hilarity and utter tragedy. In fact, at times they were tragically comedic, but at others, just sad. Plain sad. I witnessed my first bout of true anti-Semitism, much to my disbelief, even after I told them I was Jewish and they didn't believe me. We were at a house party and some of the guys started cracking Jew jokes (the benign oh-look-how-they-are-cheap jeers as opposed to the neoNazi-get-em-done cracks). Now, I really didn't mind it too much but I was just shocked that it actually occurs.
Like, I come from Long Island, not exactly a brimming pot of ethnic and religious hatred. So for me, to witness this mild debasement of a peoples regardless was still sort of lurid in my eyes. Not to mention, there was an African American in the room. I guess the tension still exists. Oh well. No harm no foul.
We went to Duke to see some gardens or something afterwards. It was pretty. Considering it was over 100 degrees outside and my brain felt more fatigued than it does after Lindsay Lohan decides on pot or coke, i just wasn't in the mood to play and frolic in the flowers. Though, I did see all the major NC schools of the area, and to this, I am proud.
Later that evening before I crashed, I began to say things like "tiierd" instead of "tired" and "ya'll" instead of "you guyz", so sleep was essential.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Double Standards
But on that same page, I see an article about Bush going to Jerusalem. The headline for the article? "Israel makes arrest in alleged plots against Bush". Alleged?
Yes, I know what the word means. But I also know that the word alleged is used anytime someone wants to minimize the possibilities of something really happen, to strike through the credibility of an issue. For example: "So you allegedly murdered this girl"
or "OJ Simpson alleges in his new book that his wife is still alive and he's determined to find out who really was double-murdered in his house that night". The word alleged is a cue for a second guess on authenticity. Now why would a man, President of the United States, aggravator of all, instigator of two wars in none other than Israel's region have an alleged plot to kill him. Why would the media paint this as something someone might make up in collusion with the Bush administration...to feel sympathy? harden his position on terrorism policies? Prove he's right about terrorism?
Then Obama, a man with a security detail who has yet to define a specific threat, gets plastered on the papers as if his life is not only in future of being danger, but has been in the past. I'm at a loss for words. Thank you drudge for continuing to disappoint. Ridiculous.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Add-on
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Not Welcome eh
As Danny says in his final scene, his departure toward heaven or hell (depending on how you view his spiritual catharsis), "We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory... ...will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature." (Abraham Lincoln, Inaugural Address).
On a more somber note, why does Brendan Frasier still try to act?
lol.
I was watching Christopher Titus stand up last night and he started to make jokes about Bush (actually not too harsh) and of all politics and of everything geopolitical and I realize as much as I enjoy it, I think I enjoy it less considering I know many people feed into that bullshit. Many people listen to FOXNews and CNN and gulp down doses of depression and gloominess, feeding into the cycles of stock market failures, bank foreclosures, and end of the world theories. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot more to it, but the media is really starting to tick me off. And they feed crap to hard working Americans who'll believe it.
Especially with the economy. I saw a poll on MSNBC the other day that said 17% of all Americans believe President Bush is the cause of today's economic stresses. Seriously? Is this a friggin joke? Forget the mortgage bonds of the 1980s, the creation of a bond market for mortgage securities. Forget the fiscal policies of the Carter, Reagan, Bush I, Clinton Administrations of the past. Forget the fiscal irresponsibilities of banks giving away sub-prime mortgages to anyone with a nickel in their pocket. Forget the free meals of desperation served by every media outlet telling them to go to the banks and pull out their money before Venus hurtles into Earth. Forget two wars that were initiated by dozens of nations, international organizations, NGOs, President(s), poor information, the unfortunate miscoordination of intelligence agencies all over. Forget 9/11, the destruction of a world trade center with hundreds of America's most important firms. Forget the continual buying on credit of the American people, with absolute ZERO intention of paying it back. Forget the slowing of an economy that barely has any room to grow with the upsurge of India, China, and the labor-intensive EU. Forget the connected markets and the realization that every tick in the system sends a ripple through. No. Ladies and Gentlemen, the man you lampoon each and every day as being the so-called dumbest President of our United States has outwitted us all, and caused an outdated financial system of the 80s and 90s to fail, along with thousands of other businesses. You've been a great audience. Goodnight.
Oh, and don't get me wrong, Bush's expansion of the federal government hasn't exactly made our lives easier, but to say that he is the single cause of years of distress is just as laughable to say that Obama is a Muslim. Economically, the thing that pissed me off the most of President Bush is after 9/11, when he told everybody to go out, vacation, have a good time, return to normal routine, and to, of course, buy,. That wasn't my favorite thing considering now America, on top of the world for 70-80 years, feels entitled to everything! We're a strong nation with a strong backbone, but we can't even weather through a recession anymore. We've dealt with dictatorships and empires, injustice and inequality, secession and depression, but now we're told we can't buy our cake AND eat it too, and we flip a shit. Gas goes up to 4 dollars a gallon (still tremendously better than the rest of the planet), and Americans sound more willing to withhold wheat and food to the rest of the world just so we can get out oil. Get used to it. It isn't Bush. If we're gonna stick to oil, then we have to get used to it. It's the system. You can't break it. You can try to circumvent it (energy independence) or overcome it (new renewable energy). I prefer the latter over the former, because pulling out of the middle east entirely leaves an entire region to now sell oil to China, and Russia, and what good that'll do. We'll be back in Square one within a few years.
I understand I'm not a homeowner. I get it that I don't have kids. I realize people have lost ALOT of money. And I feel for them. But this...is the system. We've ridden to the top of the world on the back of a pony named capitalism, and now capitalism,a risk oriented activity, is biting us in the behind. We've taken our lumps in the stock market, a market built on risk-taking. We've watched hundreds of other nations follow our example, only to succeed, and then we get angry that they've copied us, even though we told them to for years. And we expect the good ole Federal Government to save us. Should the fed intervene? Well if it continues down this path with banking and mortgages, yes. It has to stabilize our confidence. But it is not the job of the USG to intervene in every little squeak of the system, or else we've lost our uniqueness and turned to socialism. I don't need the government to tell me where to put my money or where half of my paycheck goes. I think the government can do a lot of good, and a lot of bad. This issue is obviously a touchy one, but we must have faith. Perception is reality, and the perception permeating in the world today is that America is falling. America is falling hard, right? Or maybe is it that all other countries, following our example, have begun to level the playing fields economically. Maybe it's that our own fiscal irresponsibilities have smacked us back, and we must stand up, admit to our mistakes, and look to a better, brighter future. Maybe being Pro-hope, as Mr. Obama argues, isn't that bad of thing. Because looking at the media these days, I see gloom, doom, and more gloom. And frankly, I'm sick of it.
In the 1940s we went 4 years without an automobile being made for public consumption. Everything was directed toward the war effort. Today we have a public out of touch (either ignorantly or by choice) with our own two wars being fought across the ocean. Regardless of how it was started, we're there. Even more so, we have no backbone for survival. Do you think we would have fought in WWI or II if the people of America had the media of today? Do you think we would have won and prospered into the greatest nation, the most free and liberating nation on planet earth? Americans today are lucky we don't have to sacrifice. And maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the fights of the past we meant to free us from our burdens of the past. Maybe we can have our cake and eat it to. But that makes us vulnerable to anguish whenever a challenge presents itself. Today, we are faced with a challenge. And we will overcome. Jesse Ventura said it best: "Americans are bootstrappers, the word 'can't' isn't part of our vocabulary". I think however the tree of liberty and prosperity must be refreshed with the blood of patriots and tyrants from time to time, and that can be just as metaphorical as it is literal. We'll never know what the state of mind of "cant" is until we find something difficult to tackle. And if we never tackle something head on with American resolve, we'll never win. We must have resolve today and not become a nation of "whiners" as McCain's advisor recently said, because then we lose. I'm gonna go with losing not being an option, how about you?
Just wanna give a shout out to Billy Wagner, reminding him of his lovely performance in the All-Star Game again. G-d Bless, and get well soon.
The Never Ending All-Star Game
If anybody watched the Derby...did anybody have a problem that whenever Josh Hamilton's name was employed, it was followed by the words
a) Drugs
b) Cocaine
c) What a Happy Tale
Cuz for the a and b, I just feel bad that that's how he will forever be associated with. As for the c, it's a happy tale for Josh Hamilton. It's great that a man who barely knew how to live and got 26 tattoos without even realizing it was able to not only recovery (with a handler), but regain the strength to move up to the Majors. But serious....(pause)
I hate the American League. Don't you dare Joe Buck tell me that the AL is consistently better than the NL cuz the last time I checked, the power hitters were moving to the NL and all of the great AL pitchers are having some trouble when they move over to the NL. Don't test me Joe Buck.
...seriously, the story is a personal success, nothing more. If anything, this supposed happy ending is in fact a terrible story for the public, a tale with a terrifically poor morale and lesson. "Hey kids, I'm Josh Hamilton, I did drugs, hit rock bottom, then recovered and am a famous all-star...you can do it too!" The message is not my favorite.
By the way, as one blogger commented, when John Kruk reminded Yankee fans that they should cheer for Hamilton cuz he might be a Yankee in a few years, he ruined my night and my future birthday in a single breath.
I found out Ryan Braun was Jewish. And Kevin Youkilis, and Ian Kinsler. That's a lot of All-Star Jews. Happy times. Oh, and Scott Schoenweis, but jews really don't wanna claim him as part of the group.
So the AL won 4-3, and I'm sure they think they're the shit. Thanks Billy Wagner for doing what you usually do in All-Star games...Suck. Thanks Dan Uggla for the 8 errors and 5 Ks. Can you even field? You look like a gremlin on crack. There, I said it. Take it or leave it.
I might as well extend the insult to Joe Buck. Yes, I acknowledge he's a good commentator, but he's a jackass. Especially last month when he acknowledged that 1) he hates baseball and 2) doesn't even prepare for games anymore cuz it's boring. Boo Hoo Joe Buck. Go find 20 million a year elsewhere. That really peeved me off. If I had the oral talent (no jokes necessary) and the wit to be a sports commentator and was blessed with my Pops coattails, I'm not sure I'd complain about my job on TV, even if it were true. Your candidness has made me sick.
I've never seen a stadium clear quicker than Yankee Stadium in the last five minutes. Wow. Just Wow. It was like 3 minutes and there was one poor guy standing near home plate. JD Drew won the MVP. Philly fans still want him dead. As they do pretty much every other human being. These are the guys that rooted for Vader over Skywalker, Apollo over Rocky, Coyote over Roadrunner. I'm pretty sure they held a mock funeral for Michael Irvin, and booed Santa Clause. Not to mention, they threw pills at TO. I realize many Americans dislike his swagger and arrogance, but to wish him ill after he attempted suicide? Are we that low a civilization? FYI, a word to Yankee fans..you don't actually own the song "New York New York" by Frank Sinatra. I believe in communal ownership or full copyright and trademark restrictions. So there, you're doing something illegal. Finally.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Le Fin
I guess a final, final update…
I’m sitting on the plane right now waiting to land in
I know I’m truly back to the
Getting back was well…so American. After picking up my broken luggage (2nd time for
I’ll see most of you all soon. For those who were abroad with me, g-d bless and continue being preposterous!
Call me Gypsy...
Yes, I'm sitting here in my empty room with my bags packed tightly ready to return to what is obvious to me as the greatest nation to ever grace this lovely planet. Looking back, I made some amazing friends, had an amazing time, absolutely loved Madrid, but look forward to making my way back to a faster paced lifestyle, at times more cordial people, good italian spaghetti and meatballs, my dog, and knowing that I'm truly home.
Before I end with a oh so touching end remark, let me tell you about Pamplona. I'm not entirely sure how to describe it because it was like a spring break party with violence and blood. Oh, and Bulls. The Bulls aren't fed for like a week to make them extra pissed off, and then they spank them with nails on a 4 by 4....well, not really, but they taunt them alot. As Bryce said, these bulls are prolly minding their own business talking about the weather and BAM!, time to go f some people up.
Brent, Whit, Eli (how the hell do you wake up Susana 2 times in a single night is beyond me), Maria, and I took the bus up to Pamplona on Sunday morning. It was a pretty smooth ride, we got there and it was damn coldd. Like I know we're close to France, but that doesn't mean everything has to suck :)
Our hostel room was clean but when we took our first siesta, with 5 people to two beds, it was kinda like sardines in a can. All lines up, in uncomfortable, rigor mortis type positions. We then went to the cheap gas station, got ourselves some sangria, went to town.
Town was...again its difficult to describe this scene. We bought the white outfits with bandanas like everybody else so picture a sea of white and red, drenched in sangria. Like....there were more drunk people than an Amy Winehouse get-together. Oh Snap! (Culturally Sophisticated Reference # 1!). We mapped out our route for where the Brent and Bryce would run and where Tony, Maria, Eli, Whit, and I would watch them die.
Going to bed was a hilarious fiasco as now seven, yes seven people crammed. We gave Tony the patio and Eli and Bryce the floor. I must say, Bryce and Tony, between their bitching and sardonic remarks might have possibly accounted for 1/3 of my laughs this trip. Upon asking them if all football players from Kansas were this witty, Tony retorted: "Dude, most of them can't read...". He just needed to go to patio, he was being cranky.
So here's where the fun begins. 5:30 Wake up. Pitch black, silence...
Bryce: "Is everybody up?"
All minus Tony on Patio: "yup....(sigh)"
Bryce: "I just got this text from my Mom. She didn't even know I was running..."
Text Message: Bryce, You don't have anything to prove. We love you
I think that killed his inspiration to succeed faster than that friggin 0-2 curve from Wainwright to Beltran (CSR # 2!). Of course...he ran.
Pamplona is a pretty city I must say, minus the whords of crap and drunk people passed out. I think Brent told me that he went to go pee behind a dumpster and a man was drunk asleep behind there, so yeah, Brent urinated on a human being. I think I speak for everyone when I say he's a terrible human being and might be making a trip down south. No, not back to Tejas.
So after a single day of partying (there's 7 days of this shit), Pamplona looked more messed up then Britney Spears on a good day (CSR # 3!...Okay I'm done, I've had my kicks). They brought out the civilian cleaning crews in full swing, for apparently no reason. Tony and I saw some guy raking the ground. Like, raking pavment.
We got there at like 7 and the lines around the route were obviously packed. Tony, pissed off from the day before when he got his wallet stolen (I have no idea what is with this continent and petty theft - sometimes I wish there was more violent crimes), got us up close. We still couldn't see, but some nice Spanish guys told us to get a garbage can to stand on. I found one, Whit and I jumped up, had an awesome view. So funny story. The day before, we were going around asking locals who had run for advice. Most of them gave us the look and said "es muyyy peligroso" (Dangerous), and ridiculed us for being foreigners in for a high. Yeah, cuz whoever was the first Pamplona citizen to go "hey, instead of just herding them to the Plaza del Toros...why don't we have them CHASE US!!?!?...THAT'D BE ILLL" was a genius too. But by far, the best line from a local when we asked "Has corrido antes?" (Have you run before?) was:
Nunca he corrido. Nunca haré corrido. Tengo mucho miedo.
Never have I ran. Never will I run. I´m very very scared.
So reassuring.
So la corrida starts when the first gun shot is sounded (bulls let out of gate) and 2nd gun shot is when the bulls are all out. There's 12 bulls in all. 11 of them pissed off. One of them retarded. Makes for an adventure. brent and bryce left us and got prepared, we actually said a prayer for them, and then wanted to see blood from other people. I think the most frightening part of the race it looks like is not the bulls themselves, its the massive stampede of humans, in which you cannot actually see the bulls. Pretty damn frightening. The race was awesome. We saw one guy with an blood side, another with what looked like an ear torn off, and some conscious but stretchered people. Sucks, but hey, what the hell did you expect. I did not, unlike some (cough cough whit) take pictures of people in their most agonizing times.
Brent and Bryce came out victorious, our little warriors they were. Now, as is true with all testosterone driven males...the story devolved rapidly, and of course, as it should. So I'll proceed.
Real Story: Brent ran not too far but not too close, managed to physically slide into the Plaza del Toros, watched some people dive, ran the whole time, was brave, and did not get mauled.
Man Story: Brent was running along the side when all of a sudden Retard Bull came out of nowhere and went to go jab him in the side with his left horn. Brent, using his superhuman strength, broke the horn, stabbed the bull in the eye, and somersaulted backwards onto the Bull, using his grip to break the Bulls skull and liquify the brain. Afterwards, Brent used his firebreathing abilities to roast his kill. True story, no joke dude.
Afterwards, we kinda just killed time, still totally psyched about what we had just witnessed. The ride home was fine, of course, not complete without ANOTHER trip to KFC. What the hell is with charging for ketchup in this country. I thought this was socialism...?
I still can't believe this is my last hour in España. I definitely would recommend the trip and surely have learned some things and opened my eyes. Simultaneously, I would say that some of the best things in life come from home. I'm not homesick by any stretch of the imagination, but I do love my country and would bleed for it. I prefer crappy cold milk to lukewarm beverages, good old cooked meat to withering bacon fit, and overblown patriotism to political scorn. I do love soccer, but give me a team that can make me alive like the Mets, and I'm there. By the way, I think I'm returning home to a Mets team that is above .500. They did it! They don't suck, they're just mediocre!
Spain is a place of history and wonderment and when I get a chance to return, I undoubtedly will. From all the venga ta luegos to the random moments by Banco de España or in Buen Retiro to the singing in the streets to the arguments with street vendors, it has a life of its own and as my señora Susana states, it's not a matter of good or bad, but the difference between one life and the next. Yup, that's one profound Madrileñean flower therapist. Europe, contrary to popular stupid thought, is not a disgusting liberal place, but a continent that has U-turned after centuries of bitter violence, and world wars. Europe has blossomed into a powerful economic conglomerate, each state retaining its history in a way that the US cherishes. Spain is no different. I may disagree with some aspects of their lifestyle, but the people of Spain are by no means backwards, stupid, or Mexicans, and if you treat them that way, well you know precisely why Americans abroad think they have to wear Canadian t-shirts. For one, they don´t. Most countries love Americans and hate our government, and you know what, sometimes they´re justified, sometimes they can go shove it. Regardless, moms acts the same way moms in America do, kids bitch, and fathers think they control the world. We´re culturally worlds apart, but - and Danny this one´s for you - there´s more to them, than meets the eye. First person to name that movie gets an Oreo.
I'd say this blog was certainly a success, and I'll definitely remember these stories. I'd love to meet up with all my friends from here, but realistically, we'll all go our separate paths. Maria, I know you won't change the channel when I'm on TV ;) This has been an incredible vacation where I opened my eyes, developed my character, and revealed myself to well, myself, and it was definitely needed. For a transient period, I became a Spanish speaking, vino gulping, tapas-loving, futbol driven European with friends who were just as goofy and ridiculous as me and with a loss of inhibitions that allowed to me to be a jokester and all, but in the end, I'm a strong willed, politically motivated, English speaking, Coke drinking, Pizza destroying, baseball diehard who hails from the land of the free and the home of the brave: Amurrica. If you didn´t take a lesson out of this blog then that´s okay, I hope you simply enjoyed it. I like to make people laugh and cry, cuz I enjoy doing it too. I laughed a lot this vacation, and feel relaxed as I head into law school. I know it´s a big transition in my life, but I´ll tackle it somehow, and hopefully find my niche. I don´t wanna hate my job, I just wanna be happy, and as crude and corny as it sounds, being happy is a central tenet to our 243 year old declaration.
It's 10.00 AM and time to wake up Eli. I'll take the last metro from Gregorio Marañón to Nuevos Ministerios, then out to Aeropuerto Terminal Cuatro. Maybe on the flight I´ll get a beer, cuz when I return, I lose all my privileges as a cool college student. To everybody left over, que tengan buen viaje, te lo pases bien, y ciao! Echaré de menos España, pero como mi amiga Maria dijo, siempre tendremos nuestras memorias. Adios!
Friday, July 4, 2008
Cuz I'm Proud to be an American....
Happy Birthday America!!!
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Por el cielo
I'm probably going to take a nap and then go to the gym, go out tonight. We have an exam early tomorrow (yeah on America's birthday, those pricks). I could care less lol.
I think we added Bryce and TOny to our room in Pamplona, which makes 7 people sharing a room of 2 beds...yeah this should be a doozy. Yeah, I said doozy.
Also, I decided and realized that I've changed the way I look at girls because of my experiences here. Normally a guy will check out a girl with a full body look and smile. I normally, being the voracious stud I am, do the up-down check-out. We're all familiar with this by now. Anyway, when I first came to Madrid, i would see these beautiful women in high heels, great legs and as you'd move up, then you'd see the face, torn and destroyed by years of teenage cigarrette smoke. Now I know you might think I'm being a lil unfair and shallow, but I'm talking about nasty. Think Yellow Barnacles on the bottom of a boat. Yeah, that bad. So now, I start face always. It's been helpful. Hope this helps :)
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Pensamientos al azar
Also, when will the Mets realize that they aren´t in the NL West? They have to win more than half of their games to get to the playoffs. That´s really about it.
Going to take a siesta, then to Sol to search for some food and t'shirts, money is approaching shockingly low levels. Depletion rate complete very very soon. Rosen out.
Oh, and by the way, the Summer 2008 issue is finally up on gwdiscourse.com. While I can´t say I´m decepcionado that it came out so damn late, the work on the issue is up to par and very very thorough. Ash F is a lifesaver. I hope we get our act together in terms of time management, which I don´t doubt we will, but again, congratulations to everyone who worked the issue. Great stuff.